13 posts tagged “life”

i cannot tell if i have merely flirted with hair-death or if i have actually achieved it.

i have had a couple days where foolish courage, ignorance, creativity, and impatience have all combined in the form of a do-it-yourself haircut.  so far i have not actually accomplished complete and total disaster like this but oh, i have come so, so close.  this time i may have actually done it.  the jury is still out.

i get so scissor happy, i swear.  it's DANGEROUS.  i am never ever going to be able to grow my hair out at this rate.  it's so short now, ugh.

i feel like i took a page out of MatsuJun's book on this one.  "this is almost, almost trying to hard, but kind of works, depending on who you ask."
ugh.
ugh.
well, at least with enough bobby pins, headbands, styling gels, etc., i am able to make it look normal, but only after expending lots of time on it.  damnit, i just made my morning routine longer by... fifteen minutes? i don't know.  ten? i don't know.  time will tell.

also, HOW is it possible that i walk into target, and walk out with like everything BUT what i actually went there for?! :X

oh, and i HATE it when i buy things too large.  i am very cautious about sizes and rarely buy things too small, and if i do it's very easy for me to take it back.  but i always seem to (lately) grab a size too BIG, take it home, decide it fits, take off the tag.... and then two days later when i try to wear it again, realize that NO, there is just toooo muuuucchhh material here and it looks baggy & silly and i can no longer do anything about it.  i just did that with a sweater a few days ago. i'm hoping it shrinks in the wash.

it's a nice change of pace. :)  i think maybe i want more tokio.

it's sick how much i just want to raid American Apparel.  i just want to take EVERYTHING in their store and wear it.  lol, i'm not sure it would all look good on me, but i would want to try it all anyway. TT____TT  i desperately want one of their unitards - yesssss unitards! - but i don't like the short sleeved one because the neck is too open and i'm not sure how i feel about the spaghetti straps one - but i can think of a billion ways i would wear one.  stuff over it, i mean.  i would totally wear it to dance around the house in, too ♥

urghhhhhhhh must not spend too much money.

i got bangs cut.  or rather, i did it myself.  they're a bit messy but mostly a welcome change. :) i like the look.

wants:
a billion things from American Apparel (unitard, high-waisted cotton skirt, leggings in seizure-inducing bright rainbow colors, leotard, tunic....)
fake glasses such as these ($14?! seriously.  too much for those.  $8 and i'd be convinced)
(i would just order real glasses like that, since i wear them anyway and am not totally used to face minus glasses yet, but... i already have two pairs of glasses that i just got this summer.  and my prescription is super rare and so my glasses are always super expensive. TT__TT )
really colorful tennis shoes
black skinny jeans
a billion other things
a waist (lol)
no hips/thighs/bust (lol again.........)
a really cute purple or brightly colored sweatshirt such as my friend susan posesses...
however hers is official nike and is reallllyyyy nice (though maybe a bit too puffy?) and was probably like $80..... no.

Meh, can you tell it's a saturday night and i'm not feeling particularly energized and so i'm just killing time as i spend the night in?     ..........oh well.  i like nights in well enough. :D

okay, so six months after i got my eyes all inflamed from wearing them for too long, i'm trying contacts again.
(last time i wore my contacts for about 4 hours before i was really accustomed to them... and started getting blurrier vision which the doctor said was because i triggered an inflammatory response so white blood cells were amassing on my eyes in an attempt to fight a non-existant infection, and clouding my vision in the process... so i didn't feel like giving the contacts another shot even once my inflammation had healed...)

you see, i want to have men falling at my feet, so i figured contacts can be a good way to up the beauty factor.  (lol okay really, kidding.  plus i think my glasses are cute, just frustrating sometimes.)

but
they are hard contacts, so they are NOT easy to get used to.  i put them in at 8:45, i should take them out by 9:30.  and up it by maybe an hour every day or so.
thankfully this isn't my first time wearing them so they are already comfortable-ish, about five minutes later.
but at first it felt like somebody was tickling my eyeballs. xD
the very, VERY first time i wore them, i couldn't stop crying the entire half hour, because A) they hurt and felt soooo wierd and B) well... my eyes had wierd itchy things in them, that makes eyes cry.

SO ANYWAY.  giving them another shot and hoping for the best.........

why am i awake at 1:18 in the morning dancing around my living room?
oh, because i'm trying to learn an idol's dance from 10 (OMG) years ago.
:3
KEJAN! KEJAN! OH YEA~~~
almost got it, i think.  i just need to spend a few more minutes solidifying it, and then a few more making sure i can do it up to speed.
OTZ just the chorus of A.Ra.Shi though.  i think that's all i'm going to attempt. xD
it's not really that hard, but it's wierd choreography imo, so that's strange.  serious the first crossy-leggy-move is just strange, i don't think i've seen it elsewhere. :x (maybe i'm not looking)
oh, and i found the reason why Nino has gay floppy wrists/hands. it's because of the debut kyoku.  because the wierd hand twirling thing they do throughout the song - seriously what IS that?! xD - it's a floppy wrist thing. XD lol wut.
WHOO.
learning the "A.Ra.Shi" was my only "official" goal for winter break.
i'm glad i set my standards so low since it's like the only thing i'm close to accomplishing. XD
well, i'm almost done with that.
tomorrow i might have to study kanji and watch ryuusei no kizuna.
CAN ANYBODY EXPLAIN TO ME WHY I PUT OFF FUN THINGS?
i can understand delaying studying, but why do i put off doing fun things like watching dramas when i have LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE TO DO.  is the procrastination that bad?  damn, this is serious. XD

ps - i rarely get excited about vocal skills because i'm super jaded and have come to prefer charisma over skill and it takes a lot in a vocalist to impress me and even more for me to be impressed AND like it, but
yuna ito's voice omggggggggggggggggg *____* it's been quite a while since i've enjoyed a girl's voice this much.
i still have mixed feelings about her production being a bit boring and cliche, but as long as she sings i'll put up with it. XD

lol i have gotten so little done today.  note how the amount i post has an inverse relationship to the amount i get done. OTZ
SO i decided to share my super cute bento box that i found at a nearby shop for... a lot less than i was expecting.  like $10 (maybe it was even $8.  i think it was on sale).  i saw it and thought it would be like $20.  and it's going to be super-useful so i got it. >w<
oh and of course if i have a nice, easy-to-carry and microwaveable bento box it's a great excuse to use my special chopsticks!! ♥♥♥ last semester i rarely packed a lunch so i didn't get to use them much. ;-; but i'm really excited about making my own lunches this semester. >w< i am such a geek.

all wrapped up with a cute little elastic and a red cloth napkin that makes it easier to eat and easier to carry.  GAH so this is why Japanese people do this.  i swear it's genius <3 <3 <3 i'm excited already.

this way i can pack my own super healthy and delicious lunch every day, and i like little rituals like that! i'm already like planning what i'm going to make regularly, lol.  (nothing complicated, though. x3 i like my vegetables raw, too, to be honest, so... that makes things easy?) plus now lunch will be 10x more fun.  and it's cheaper to pack lunch.  and i like what i pack more than most of what i can buy... except for the occasional day when i might buy a salad at the corner market or possibly one of the vegetarian sushi boxes they carry from the neighborhood japanese place. on days when i feel like spoiling myself.

i really want takeuchi yoshikazu's book, "I LOVE ARASHI." XDDDDDDDD
i'm sure i could only just barey read it.
but i would try.
and probably learn a lot.
SEE?  arashi is educational.♥
i'm not even kidding, i've learned so much more japanese through them, way more than from anything else.
(even if it *does* mean i prefer masculine nihongo lololol)
i'm so proud someone wrote a book like that♥
better yet a fifty-something old man. XD i just... oh... it makes me laugh. >w<

in other news, it's a -20 windchill and my car won't start. :\  looks like i can't go to paige's tonight because how will i get there?  her place doesn't lie on the closest bus line. orz
but!
i will still go to the gym because it's not that cold (lol well if you're wearing a coat and hat and gloves and scarf over several layers and walk fast, i mean) and because i feel like i ate a lot today.  already.  at 4pm.  i should go soon, though. and anyway that's easier to get to with a bus than paige's house.  i'm annoyed about that though.  how will i get to xiao's tomorrow?  what if i wanted to go meet up with mary on saturday?  LSKjlksjl? slkslkj?  aasdflkdk?

i have spent the past two days rifling through Only Arashi Files for what i want, and i can't find it.  :\  i might have to make a request.
still haven't watched dramas or sent letter to penpal...
orz
maybe i will do that tonight when i'm all busy NOT hanging out with paige.
orz
I AM SO UNPRODUCTIVE.

i got textbooks yesterday... TT_____TT  too much literature.  i'm looking at it going, "I HAVE TO READ THIS MUCH STUFF IN ONLY 15 WEEKS?!  NOT POSSIBLE. TOO MANY WORDS.  I'M A HUMAN, NOT A READING-MACHINE." [/jim gaffigan voice] hahahah i have gotten SO SO mentally lazy.
next week sometime, i guess, i need to go get a few more things from the student bookstore. xD like more SWEATPANTS. xD really warm fuzzy ones that say my university's name on them♥ and then i can wear them to class all the time when it's this cold.♥

i need to go to the restaurant i used to work at and pick up the check that i forgot to pick up there.  but i can't get there if my car won't start. OTZ
DAMMIT.  i hate winter here. orz

i should stop living off granola sometime soon. :x

....

not too soon though.  just soon.
IT'S SO GOOD THOUGH.  and healthy granola makes me feel good~ full of grains and nuts and unprocessed stuff.
still this is getting ridiculous.  Must... Not... Be... So Lazy...  Must... Cook...

whooo. :D yesterday i went shopping with three of my friends & two of my new friends - Japanese exchange students!  Mizuho & Tomomi.  from Nagasaki & Nagoya, respectively.  neither of them like Arashi or even idols sadly (TT__TT) but Tomomi is really good at playing guitar & singing and Mizuho understands my dislike of Ueto Aya!!  (sorry guys. OTZ i just... really don't like her.)

after a week of what feels like doing nothing and being lazy... probably because that's what the week WAS xD.... today i am going to the Rec Center.  in an hour.  it's 2, i said i would go at 3. X)  and then- THEN!  then i will sit around and watch dramas again. i'm so far behind.... ;-;
oh and i made a lot of progress keeping in touch with people but there's still a few people i need to send emails to and message and stuff. OTZ
but i've gotten so many dramas in the past few days!  i MUST watch.
and i have episodes of Shukudai and VS and etc. that MUST be watched!!!  (i've sort of... not wanted to watch Himitsu lately... when i do watch it it's about, like, new halfs - which is cool, really, but i'm starting to get sad by how much prettier than me they are xD - or that one episode about huge people, that was just hard to watch - or people who got perfect bodies - OTZ I'M WORKING ON IT OKAY GUYS?! DON'T REMIND ME TOO STRONGLY OF MY FAULTS. orz.)
and lots of other performances and stuff.

and i have to take out the trash and i should vaccuum again.  the kitchen needs to be sorted out a bit and i need to apply for a renewal of my drivers' license.  i should study and my laundry is a MESS!  and one of my tires needs a little bit more air, and i STILL have to take that frying pan back to my aunt, i have NO idea why my mom gave it to me in the first place.  and i still have a few emails to write and the longer i put them off the harder they get. ;-; dammit!  BAD!  *sigh*  life feels so complicated sometimes. ;-;

oh noes, and after logging in on facebook, it seems i've been invited to go clubbing with mary on the 17th.  at MYTH?! that's WAY out in the suburbs, man!!  do i go or not go...  she's really nice... she's invited a TON of people, it might be a good chance to meet people... i like making new friends, a lot... but i'm not so good with clubbing, and what the HELL do i wear?! ldkj;alkj D:  and where are we meeting first i wonder... we'll see... it makes me nervous but i kind of want to go...
(this isn't a bad thing but if i go, looking at the guestlist, i bet you anything i will be one of the only white people there. :x i'll be so awkward!!  i should go if i can though. :x )

i want to try being the girl who works at a conbini. :\

unfortunately the US's conbinis are nowhere NEAR as cool as Japan's conbinis. TT______TT so i wouldn't really want to work in a US-style conbini.  If you can call convenience stores here that, which you can't.

however, there is a more Japan-style conbini on campus in the student union and it's hiring at the moment. :3  Conbini job getto!  i hope.  they pay well enough and it's really pretty close so that would be nice.  I wouldn't have to drive.  On the other hand none of the bus lines from my house go straight to the student union so i would have to walk across campus a bit.  That would suck, seeing as the temperature of late is hovering around 5°F / -15°C (highs have been 15°F / -10°C, lows -5°F / -20°C. The weather around here never makes up its mind, changes too much. -_-"  I'm gonna move. -_-" and it WILL still get colder, wait and see.  January is full of weather where the winds get down to about -30° F / -34° C.  DAMMIT WHY DO I LIVE HERE.)

BUT ANYWAY it's a pretty decent job in a good location and the students who work there are always studying when it's not busy.  For the ever-pressed-for-time Daigakusei, being able to study on the job is YAY.

So anyway i hope that works out.

Back to finishing my crap essay in the next few hours so i can turn it in tonight.  I no longer care about my grade in that class though.  And apart from this assignment the class is done.  My TA sucked and didn't actually teach anything and there was only so much you could learn on your own. -_-"  even if i get a 50% on this paper - which i probably will because i'm not even trying to satisfy the requirements - hell no i am not scanning the score and analysing it in technical language, because YOU, mr. TA, never actually taught us how and only ripped apart our attemtps to do so on the last paper without explaining.  So why bother.

Then later tonight, Thai food with Paige. Tomorrow dinne with Michelle and the Karaoke with Kristin and her friends because it's her birthday~!!  Thursday hopefully go see Twilight with Xiao?  Thursday night there is an "ugly sweater party" at Tanya's but I don't know her roommates all that well and I... don't have any really ugly sweaters. ;_; only 'mildly ugly' sweaters. XD So I might not go.  I might not see Meer this week either because she's not usually up for doing much and I think she leaves soon...  tomorrow actually.  We will have to hang in January.  Same thing with a bunch of people I didn't get to see this past weekend and i think Megan and i need to spend some quality hang-out time. hangout in  JANUARY.  Uwaaaa i love the new year.  The whole thing starts over with mochi and a clean slate~ :3 Then Friday or Saturday, depending on the weather, comes the five hour drive home accompanied by much loud singing of Arashi in the car. :D
RAWR.

I promise, once winter break starts for real i am going to go around actively commenting on stuff!  And catching up on shows.  And watching dramas.  OM.

I love Christmas so, for so many reasons, but the idea of the New Year gets me all excited.  It's such a refreshing thought. :3  I love January apart from it being freezing as balls because it's a month where I mostly get to relax and pull myself together and prepare for spring semester. :D

finals start tomorrow OMG.

over break i WILL learn the dance to A.Ra.Shi.  D:<  i feel like i'm close.  i must have watched Time con 10 times this month and i think i'm starting to get it.  Over the month of break i should be able to finally, FINALLY figure it out.  It's not the footwork that confuses me though... ;'_; it's their tricky arm-flaily stuff!! D:<  i can figure out the footwork easily enough but they do so many weird flaily secret-handshake type things, it doesn't make sense~!  but when i'm watching other songs on Time con i can mimick a lot of them! >:"D  again, particularly the footwork and simple hand motions.  I WILL GET THIS!! >:I

ashita is my nihongo no oral interview. D:  chotto fuan desu.  chotto kinchou shite imasu.  D:  demo kitto nantoka naru to omoimasu.  nantoka, kitto daijobu da to omoimasu.  >:D  demo, sou ka to itte mo, kinchou shite imasu. D:

it's my music theory exam tomorrow too but i'm past caring for that one.  XD  i think i get it.  we'll find out.  i've given up on my gpa this semester but i have BOMB classes lined up for next and i'm very excited!!

does anyone else think that Sho's Yatterman costume and Ohno's Uta no Oniichan costume both look ABSURDLY RIDICULOUS?!?! ahaha.  i mean i guess Sho's kind of makes sense since it's a really old anime.  it's dorky in a kind of... nantoka...old-fashioned dorky way.  i can accept and appreciate its cute dorkiness. :D  i lol'd a lot when i saw Ohno's though. D:  i hope he doesn't have to wear that the whole show... XD  it's still great that he gets to be in another drama though. :3  Ah, my boys... they're accomplishing so much...

i got back from the gym tonight (LOL I WAS THERE TWO HOURS.  i brought a textbook with me to look at while i was working out but you can tell someone has really been trying to delay things!! i'm such a bad student. orz but actually sort of not thinking about school for a while helped me to organize my thoughts... somehow... even though i'm on vox typing a ramble right now...) and was kind of hungry and so i made something really weird.

i have really wierd taste.  apart from the fact that in my opinion the five hottest boys in the world have been seen in concert wearing sequined blue pants and shiny hot pink shirts and sequined red jackets with huge asymettrical plumes, all at the same time, and i even think it looks cute in a wierd way.  because i just had this for like... second dinner... and i thought it was delicious!!  i took romaine lettuce, all chopped up salad-like, and then made my own dressing, using... soy sauce (tamari actually), balsamic vinegar, a bit of olive oil, and chili paste.  i thought it was amazing!! my taste buds might be as broken as Riida's though. xD  anyway i had that and a red pepper and rice cake with red pepper hummus.  i'm addicted to red peppers.  i eat at least one every day, i swear.

my mom would be horrified at my 'salad dressing.'  xD  "no, mom, i really don't want your hand-made raspberry vinagrette on top of a bed of spinach with pomegranite seeds, walnuts, and feta cheese.  just put some romaine in a bowl and pour chili paste, soy sauce, vinegar, and a dash of oil.  seriously.  it's better that way, i promise"  my mom is a little bit of a Jun in the kitchen.  apparently i am a little bit more like Ohno.

ANYHOO.  i should probably go study moar. 

i was really determined to go to korea next semester on an internship... i don't think i'll go at all anymore..  i need to stay here i think... but i was thinking if i went to korea then i would be able to save up and fly to tokyo (since it's much less to fly to tokyo from korea than from the midwest XD ) and go to a 10th anniversary live in tokyo next summer... don't think that's happening either... ;-; even though i really want to... SO THEY DAMN WELL BETTER HAVE CONCERTS OVERSEAS NEXT YEAR.  Europe and the Americas need their turn.  c'mon guys, c'monnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.