25 posts tagged “personal”

and school will be done.  After this week ends, there's six.

~i haven't really been able to keep up with Arashi much since school started.  NINE WEEKS AGO. ;-; i hate school.

~i have been listening to tvxq lately as well. ♥ they may be a new second or third favorite boyband. :3

~today in my korean class one of the girls brought in an old issue of Wink Up to sell to one of the other girls.  I WAS PROBABLY JUST MINUTES TOO LATE TO BUY IT. ;-; it had Sho-chan ♥ and Okada Junichi on it.  Sho's Bambino hair. xD ♥  It was such a surprise!!  I wasn't expecting anything of the sort, but out of nowhere... out of nowhere was Sho's face~!!!  In the middle of my korean class! :3 ♥♥♥ also today, A.RA.SHI came up on my playlist... and I thought hard about the lyrics again... it really is a great song. a great theme song if you will. xD ♥ for my life.

I really appreciate those of you who've stopped by here now and then lately and said hello and whatnot. :)  I haven't been posting much... but thank you!!! ♥♥♥  it really cheers me up la.

This semester has been so much rougher than I was predicting. ;A; i just have six weeks to go and i'll be through it!!  every week is rough.  since midterms started.  and they really haven't ended yet.  and when they do it will be time to prepare for finals. ;-;

I hate having to put my life on hold for 15 weeks until the semester ends. ;-; i don't want that. at ALL.  i want my weeks and my schedule to balance more.

I was perusing the arashi files comm on lj... and thinking about how much i have to watch!!!  (and i haven't started RnK yet... ;-; and so many other dramas i want to see!! k-dramas too).  I'm sooooo far behind on weekly bangumi's. ;-; and i love them so!! it takes so long to d/l usually though, and i don't have time lately... and when i do it's only because i SHOULD be doing other things and i'm not... that or i sleep, because i never get enough of that anymore.  my list of things to do really, literally NEVER is finished, and it really wears on me. ;-;

I was thinking while looking at all of this...

arashi really is strange... they really are odd and cracky...

and i love it so ♥♥♥

every so often one of my friends will mention that arashi is really strange and they don't understand why i like them so much.  but i looooove how strange they are. because they're also wonderful and sweet and funny. ♥

it's going to be a while before i can catch up but i am REALLY looking forward to it. ;-; 

things with BAMWTIRL are starting to go well. :3

he is talking to me quite a bit lately.  Gone is the shy!  He will actually approach me now, not just be all nice and outgoing when I talk to him.

I grabbed dinner at my work tonight with a friend who's visiting from out of town.... he came up to our table and chatted. :)

I can't tell if he's flirting or not because I think I just lose all of my perspective around him, but when I relate our conversations pretty much word-for-word to my friends, they all tell me, "that sounds pretty flirty to me..." so I guess I have a good feeling about it.

It's all a bunch of small signs, but I have a good feeling, yes.  Things will move in the right direction! :)  thanks the support, mina-san. ^^

宿題は、

ぜんぜんやりたくねぇじゃ。。。

D:

Boy At My Work That I Really Like (henceforth 'BAMWTIRL' or 'Boy') and I went out to dinner once.

It was my idea.  I asked BAMWTIRL if he wanted to go get Japanese food... because we were talking once and he's never really had much of it  And he's a chef, so he likes food.  So it's a good excuse.  (...so, yes... in short... I asked a guy out.  D:  I ASKED A GUY FIVE YEARS OLDER THAN ME, WHOM I DON'T KNOW THAT, THAT WELL OUT. DDDD: it took gutss..... I was so happy it worked out even if I felt a bit lame or desperate for having to ask. OTZ)

He actually showed up when we agreed to meet.  I was really surprised.  Not because he seems like a jerk who doesn't show up places, it's just... I felt like it was really wierd of me to ask.  He was at the restaurant before me even.  Not only did he show up, which I wasn't totally expecting, but he didn't even make me wait.  And he paid for dinner and I didn't ask him to (of course) and I don't think I made it seem like it was going to be that kind of a date or anything.  He just picked up the bill.  :)  Good sign #1: dates pay for dinners (sometimes).  Casual friends always split the bill or pay seperately.

I think it went pretty well... I kind of turned into an IDIOT D: but otherwise things went okay.  I really... liked... talking with him. D: a lot. D: 

Things we have in common:
~We both like jazz (I don't know a ton about it really, but I sort of just naturally always enjoy it. and I'm willing to learn~). :)
~We both claim to be internal hippies. :)  I was really, REALLY happy when he said that.  Like, OMG ME TOO.  I hope he meant it. <3
~I don't know.  I tend to get really awkward and wierd around him but I feel like maybe there's some sort of something like chemistry.

Cool stuff about Boy:
~boy is a chef (he works part time as a waiter at my work).  A chef at a very nice local french restaurant.  Boy COOKS.
~boy plays bass.  it sounds like his band is really interesting.  I want to hear~~~  bass!! I love bass.  I love bass much more than guitar.  I always have, too.  His band has played a lot of well-known clubs in the area. O:
~boy is five years older than me. O_o;;  I'm surprised we get along so well.  I still feel really young and ditzy and dumb around him, but we can still talk and stuff.
~boy is tall
~boy has a dorky sense of humor
~boy seems to have this really neat way of appreciating people for who they are
~boy is generally really outgoing and sort of charming.  for example, as a waiter... he's really good at making tables comfortable and getting them to open up a little and have a good time.  Just in general.  with everyone he's around, really, that I've seen.  He's just really LIKEABLE and easy to get along with.
~boy also seems to be good with children.  he said once he wanted a family. :)  not really sure that means anything to me right now, but it does indicate (to me) a kind, gentle sort of person. :)
~oh and he also doesn't seem to think I'm crazy for being all into Asian Languages and Literatures and whatever.  I think he thinks it's less crazy than some of my friends do. O:  I got absolutely NO, "oh, you listen to wierd Asian music? ...wow, you are seriously strange." vibes, at ALL.  This fits right into Internal Hippie diagnosis.  He... genuinely seemed very, "to each their own. :) ". wow.

...work has been kind of.... ah.... it's difficult to actually talk with him.  But I think maybe he's starting to spend more time around me at work....  At first he was a little, little bit flirty at work, and a bit more outgoing than he is now. D:  I wonder if he is shy?  I don't think it's that he's not interested, though I can't rule it out.  But when it's kind of just the two of us (hohoho SO rare OTZ) he actually talks to me.  Like, I don't have to talk to him, he will talk to me.  There's a slight awkward vibe but I don't get the sense he's avoiding me.

SO LAST NIGHT. AT WORK.

I was back grabbing a glass of water and he was doing something in the back and it was only the two of us, and he was like, "so how are you tonight?"
me: "sleepy..." (it was true! D: )
boy: "how can you be sleepy~? Actually, I had four shots of espresso before work though, so I guess I'm pretty juiced" (or something to that effect.)
me: "so, do you have any exciting plans for the evening?"
boy: (something like) "well, there are a few things, I'm not really sure I'm that into any of them... " (I think I tried to get in a word edgewise here but he just carried on....) "but if something REALLY exciting came along..."
me; "hahahah, if it were really exciting, you might just have to..."
boy: "yes, I might just HAVE to say yes..."

(as my friends pointed out later... he TOTALLY set that up for me. DDDDDDD:  OTZ )

MY RESPONSE WAS:

"...Good luck with that."

XDXDXDXDXD

because I assumed at that moment there was NO way he was actually suggesting anything to me.  didn't think that fast.  if I had REALIZED that I would have been able to ad-lib something clever, like suggesting we watch a movie even though it's not "exciting."

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. XD SERIOUSLY.  OH MAN, THAT'S BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD. AHAHA OH INGRID.

Anyway, I tried to fix my mistake later but to no avail.

So at the coercion of my friends I sent him a text message later, after work.  I do not usually do this kind of casal texting with anyone except really good friends... but they... they convinced me.

So at 11:29 PM I send, "Did you find anything fun to do yet? :)"

And at 11:30PM I recieved, "Naw. I think imma just head to bed. last night was long"

-I did not send a reply back-

1.  It was a bit of a ":\ bleeeh" reply but who can blame him...

2. He sent a reply back in a MINUTE.  MINUTE.

3. This also means he's a good texter. xD

4. It's a detailed response.  If he really didn't care, or were actually out partying and having fun, and didn't want to say anything or be honest, he would have either NOT responded, or sent back something like just, "no..."

So amidst many failures, I am daring to say that things with BAMWTIRL may be going well... It's nervewracking but exciting... just a little too slow. xD

RAWR.  Long boy rant is looooooooong. :'D

,,,though of course what is normal? xD

Sitting in the hall waiting for my next class. :3  Which is an exam.  I should be STUDYING FOR MY KOREAN EXAM CAUSE I'MMA GONNA FAIL but I'm lazy. xD I also didn't finish my dictation homework but it takes FOREVER and I don't feel like doing it now.  The rest of my homework is done.  I'll just hand that one in tomorrow.  This class is kicking my ass...

So anyway, I have an hour or so of not-particularly-valuable time, and I'm SO glad because I've been DYING to waste some time.  Hectic schedule these days. OTZ

I am nearly a month behind on pretty much every Arashi show and I have no money for the Ryuusei no Kizuna single. ;A;  September rolled around and kicked me into the dirt... it was a rough few weeks too, but I feel like I'm starting to pull things back together, nantoka.  Thanks to all the encouraging voices from people here, and my friends and family.  It really was a rough time, odoroita.  Harder than really anything in recent memory.  These things happen.

I just had Nihongo class.  Yep, Japanese and Korean every morning with an hour between them.  OTZ and I'm better at Japanese. So Korean is always REALLY HARRRRRD.

My Japanese sensei is so funny.  :3  Not only is she in touch with pop culture, she seems to have a really good sense of humor, and I like that she's not like... ditzy.  She's very together and in-charge, very authoritative in a way?  It really makes you respect her.  And she's funny and cute/pretty in that Cute/Pretty Japanese Person way.  I am a sophomore in college and I am like FANGIRLING over how awesome my (female) teacher is.  XD oh well, it's harmless.  It really makes me like the class and want to try my hardest in it though. :)  I am going to become like sensei and preface EVERYTHING with "mazu saisho wa" even when it's not really saisho anymore X) and end everything with "ii?". X)

THIS WEEKEND the guy at work I really really have a huuuuuuuuge crush on - circumstances just somehow worked in my favor and I ended up giving him a ride home (he doesn't drive to work).  (I worked 11 hours with a half-hour break, ughhhhhhhh) It was cool because I just like talking with him but we normally don't get the chance.  We did Saturday though! :3  We live seriously about a block apart, too, oddly.  LET US RUN INTO EACH OTHER BY CHANCE MORE OFTEN.  Anyway.  That sort of made me happy. :3  He's tall, he plays bass (and it sounds like he does some realllyyyyyy cool stuff with his band), and at the restaurant I work at he's a waiter but he's also a chef at another (really nice) restaurant in the area.  MAN WHO CAN COOK.  He has a good sense of humor too.

OTZ these kinds of things get so confusingggggggg.  like, "WHY DO I LIKE THIS GUY?!  I DO AND HE'S NICE ENOUGH, BUT WHY HIM!? WRYYYYYYYY."  I have no idea how he feels though.  I am 99% certain he's single though.

Friday night I watched the Presidential Debates with some friends!! :D  it was hilarious.  Thursday's VP debates are going to be SOOO funny. One of my friends was like, "have you gotten skinnier?" which is always nice to hear.

anyway.  That's my news. :3  *off to listen to a good song or two - really into Do As Infinity and Hirai Ken again*

Today:

Finish homework 1 for my Japanese project

Finish Korean dictation homework

Read Music textbook

Prepare for Music quiz on wednesday

Do Music homework

Begin Listening homework for Music

Laundry

Clean kitchen?

I want to watch dramas... and finish Maou...

Catch up on Arashi shows............... at least d/l the last few that I haven't gotten yet.

Go over to work and drop off the pager I accidentally walked out with on Saturday.

This Thursday in my Japanese class it's my turn to present an "ippunkan supiichi."  A one-minute speech.  So early in the semester, too.  Damn my last name being early in the alphabet.

One minute doesn't seem like much right now... but talking about something in Japanese, to a class, one minute becomes a very, very long time.

I couldn't figure out what to talk about.  I didn't want to immediately out myself as a fangirl becuase I think people can get the wrong impression there.... I brainstormed topics, including

• What's cool about natural foods!
• Japanese cooking
• One of my all-time favorite bands, Do As nfinity
• Pandas

Talking about Japanese cooking in front of Japanese teachers seemed intimidating... I didn't really want to talk about food anyway, and as much as I'm a big fan of natural & local foods, I really don't want to sound preachy or condemning, and again I think people might get the wrong impression.  Do As Infinity could be a fun one... I though about pandas but explaining stuff about habitat seemed difficult.

Other thoughts included personal experience, but I don't have many interesting stories besides the few times I've gone overseas, and I don't want to sound like, "oooh, I'm SO international, I've been overseas and you HAVEN'T~~~ I've been to EUROPE, ooh la la, aren't I SPECIAL~~~" because I wouldn't want to hear it if I were in the audience either.

I could talk about choir which I dearly love, but unless you've been in a choir I don't know how to make it interesting.

I want to talk about something I'm familiar with already to make things comfortable and simple...it's an intimidating task for me.

the obvious solution is to talk about idols.

I'm not JUST going to talk about Arashi though.  If somebody doesn't know what an Idol is (I think at least 50% of the class might not?) it would still just seem wierd and strange, like what do they actually DO?

Instead I'm going to talk about Idols and how they're different from most American celebrities, and why I like them, and use Arashi as my example.

This is also convenient because I'm required to bring in a visual aid.  "A" visual aid.  more like five. xD I think I will bring my cookbook, the Arashi Is Alive! photobook, the Time album, my chopsticks, my Sho uchiwa, and the Truth and One Love singles.  Other stuff stays at home. 

XD I really don't know how or when I accumulated so much merch... surely if I were to total up how much it's all cost I would cry. 

I think we the fans are going to need to find non-KeyHole, non-TVU programs.  I don't know if we've just overloaded the servers for the Japanese channels there or if there are peope trying to crack down on the use of these two but either way, they don't seem to work when we need them.  Today and last week both served as evidence to this point.  D: anyone have any better suggestions?  I'm working on doing a bit of investigation myself as well, so if I find an effective program I will make tons of announcements!!  So far nothing. D:

I used to use a program called SopCast but this happened with that program, too, like months ago.

I've found a lot of sites that claim to have streaming Japanese TV but none that actually have the main channels LIVE.  D:

If you find a good program, make sure to give a heads up! O:

~

In other news, *I* want an AiBadge. :D aiBadges, seriously.  AIBA ILU.

I think "deshou" is a really neat-sounding word.  Never mind that the meaning is commonplace and all.  When I hear Sho-kun say, "deshou," I think, 'wowwwww, he has such a lovely-sounding voice.  That sounded hot.'

School is intense for me this year.  It's going to be more work than ever before. D: on the one hand I don't really know what I want out of it or why I'm doing it, but on the other, I do really enjoy Japanese class.  This year it's gotten challenging and I have to work much harder; I actually get quite nervous when Sensei call on me to answer something.  Nonetheless I'm getting a lot of satisfaction from the feeling of working my hardest at something I love (Japanese) and seeing it pay off little by little... even if a larger plan isn't in place yet.

I'd like to take a second to thank everyone who comments and everyone who's given me words of encouragement!!  It really has been uplifting; I've depended on your kindness!

I want to take a few days to sort things out for myself and tell the world to just "go away" - but I can't, unfortunately.  Oh well.  I just have to keep going!  Ganman shimasu! Ganbarimasu!

...i really didn't mean to worry anyone!! O: it was just a terrible, terrible day.  but you guys are SO, SO, SO SWEET.  i'm so happy you exist.  thank you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much.  i just don't even have words.  if there's ever anything you need or that i can do for you in return, ask right away!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

on that note, looking at positive things!! :D

~i somehow, somehow passed my japanese placement exam! lskdjflkj  and my teacher... i don't know her well yet but she seems really cool.

~i like this time of year.

~all the people at my work are really cool!

~i have lots of challenges to keep me busy right now! O:  my course list... well, i didn't get the music class i really wanted but otherwise i have lots of courses i like AND need to get a good start on my major requirements.

~all my friends are finally back on campus and we can meet a lot!! O;

~there are truly wonderful people in this world, and quite a few of them fans of arashi whom i am SO blessed to know.

♥

i hope everyone who reads this has a fantastic day.

i will too!  atashi nara, daijoubu da yo!

http://www.startribune.com/galleries/27738614.html?elr=KArks8c7PaP3E77K_3c::D3aDhUec7PaP3E77K_0c::D3aDhUiacyKUU

riots all over the place today, I guess.  I didn't get into St. Paul downtown until about 5:00 but it was still a carnival of freaks.  The number of police around is astounding and even more so is how they seem to be pretty free and loose with the tear gas.  Several of my coworkers had to walk through tear gas to get to work today.  The MAJORITY of protesters are peaceful though. I saw part of a peaceful rally from this afternoon in front of the capitol broadcast on C-SPAN tonight.  I walked past that area I think maybe an hour after they finished.  Anyway, preach on, brothers.  I really just hate the two-party system though, I don't like to side with one or another. 

I've never seen so many police in one place.  It's freaky.

Swat teams and police with riot gear, too.
Gotta love this photo: http://www.startribune.com/photos/?c=y&img=RNC+Protest_B_05.jpg
I know I'm looking forward to going to the Children's Museum soon.

I know there have been some more violent protests... the windows at the Macy's kitty-corner across the street from my restaurant were smashed... but from everything I've heard it seems like the police are being pretty aggressive.  It freaks me out.  It's like living in military rule.  Five cars went by with sirens on in an hour, on average.  You couldn't count the number of police walking around, in cars, on bicycles, in undercover cars, if you wanted to.

My boss was interviewed by TV Tokyo though!!! D:  they were around in the morning I guess.  I didn't see them all night. D:  SHO-KUN COME WITH ZERO.  I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY AND JUST GOT BACK FROM BEIJING, BUT COME.

A lot of the insanity was going on down Wabasha and by 7th.  We're on Wabasha & 6th.  We're literally about 2-3 blocks from the Excel Center. XP

http://www.startribune.com/video/27753274.html?elr=KArks5PhDcU9PhDcUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUU

http://www.twincities.com/ci_10356273?source=most_viewed

 And THEN there's the whole mess with Hurricane Gustav, sort of cutting the festivities short.  It looks like the situaton on the gulf is okay so far... on a negative note, the Hurricane is causing a lot of media to leave the Cities here... that's bad for us since we need their money and so on.  We need people to be HERE as much of a pain as it is because this has been in the plannng for a year and a TON of money has been invested into it.  Reserving the Excel Center for about a MONTH to set this up.  Hotel bookings.  Local businesses.  All the money the government, city and state has invested into keeping the event over-secure.  And let me make one thing clear - NONE OF THE LOCALS ARE HANGING AROUND.  Local businesses are NOT getting local customers and especially seeing as today was Labor Day they were barely getting any.  We need the convention people to spend their money here because they're scaring everyone else off.  I found an ironic little article about the convention delegates complaining about a lack of food in the venue... http://www.twincities.com/rnc/ci_10358320 but if they'd go around the corner the restaurants here are kind of starved for business. (lol by the way one of the people named in that article flirts with our bartender ALL the time. xD)

So many protesters, out-of-towners, police, media, convention-goers and delegates.
People watching certainly interesting here of late.
One unending carnival of freaks. ;_;
I mean, where do you even start with the types of different people walking around right now.  So many of them people I wouldn't even expect to see here right now, protests and all.  Wow.

http://www1.ntv.co.jp/news/wmtram/dw/ng.html?m_url=080902036&n_url=117850

:D that's... St. Paul at the end.

why am i so proud...?

first it only just hit me, like, tonight, that STARTING TUESDAY I'LL BE SITTNG IN CLASSROOMS AGAIN. D:

at first i freaked out but then i realized, no big deal.  i did that through part of the summer anyway with one course, to get my science requirements done.  it's only been a month since school ended for me... not, like, three and a half, like for most people.  besides which the past week or so much of my spare time has been spent poring over my nihongo textbooks... so studying anyway.  having to study in a class just means i'll have less time to shop THANK GOODNESS.  i've spent enough money. orz  the other plus - i get to start taking tonal analyis 1 and ear training 1!!  finally!! classes i can get excited about, omg.  i'm SO excited for tonal analysis.  i wish i could study it more on my own to prep for it but writing random rambly posts on vox is about all i have time for between work and nihongo study, until friday at least.  i am SO nervous for the placement exam.

and then i realized

dammit, once a new school year starts all the annoying people will be on campus again.

freshman who don't know where jones hall is

freshman who ask too many questions and don't realize that the only way to get to jones hall is to wander around aimlessly and learn from hard experience like everyone else did xD

that crazy guy who plays guitar really badly in front of walter library and sings really weird things really badly while wearing a construction hat and annoys everyone

people handing out a bajillion flyers and stupid cards for free covers and drinks at clubs downtown

aggravating, overly-aggressive, offensive religious people handing out flyers and advertising themselves and whatnot, making me angry and embarassed at the reputation they're giving my religion (all the jerks are christians. OTZ kudos to all of the jewish, muslim, hindi, athiest, etc., groups on campus who are NOT loud and obnoxious and offensive and aggressive... i really, really respect you guys, seriously. props.)

all kinds of annoying speakers on northrop mall.  maybe pastor bob will be there again, preaching with extension cords. OTZ

all kinds of political groups campaigining and trying to get you to sign up for stuff. oh god it's an election year at a college campus! obama-fo-fama-yo-mama-banana campaign is going to be plastered all over ever'thang.  all the more so because the REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION is here this year, WTF.  liberal city in a liberal state... REPUBLICAN convention. xD

all kinds of events at coffman, activity fairs, etc.

all kinds of advertisments from the advising & guidance offices telling you to ask them about anything! personal issues, scheduling issues, internships, anything!! what they don't tell you is that most of the time when you need them they are NO. HELP.

ughhhhhhhhhhhh.

I can't wait for the first two weeks of school to just hurry up and get over with. OTZ  especially the Republican Convention, since it's being held mere blocks away from where i work and is going to cause things to be overwhelmingly busy and make tons of hassles for me. D:<

the nice thing is, since i'm not living on campus it will be nice & easy to ignore the chaos there most of the time! >:D even during my walks to & from class, i can pretty much minimize my exposure to it. :D smart upperclassman is upperclassman and smart. well okay i'm really only an upperclassman compared to freshmen even though my credit status is like a mere two credits short of being a junior, which really IS an upperclassman.